If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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