She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So vagazzling was a success
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
