I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I am naked and annoyed.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
