george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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