someone get that fucking seahorse.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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