There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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