Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
