So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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