He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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