Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
