conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
