She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
