This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
