Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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