I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
