Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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