Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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