I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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