If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
