I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize