It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
