So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
