Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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