Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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