Sponge bath it is.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
