Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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