Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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