Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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