Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
