New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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