just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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