At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
