there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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