But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
