I think I won the penis lottery.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize