my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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