my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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