he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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