it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
