I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
