I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
