Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
