There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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