she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
