you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
