we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
