There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
