either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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