the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
