Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
