So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just high enough for therapy.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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