Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
