Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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