the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
