btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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