Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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