Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
