at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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