Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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